Who am I to Christ? Who am I in Christ?

So, I have not blogged in a really (ok, a REALLY!) long time. . . It is funny several people have mentioned to me if I have a blog. Honestly, after a friend’s death it seemed I didn’t wish to be as open through blogging. I rarely looked at blogs anymore.

Somehow this week, I feel I have a lot to say. 

I love how God can use various situations and circumstances to speak to me. He’s smart like that.  This week, I made a comment in a conversation that I was not a confident person- most people do not perceive that, but deep down I struggle with being confident. Ok, it is a struggle. I read Beth Moore’s book- loved it, but I still struggle with being bold and confident. A dear Christian lady overheard my comment and said, “I so do not see that about you!” I said, “Well it is me.” She asked me to take another look at what “He says about you.” Good advice.

I’ve been sick this week (ok moody too! ) and not felt well.

My confidence was hit kind of hard and then God started to remind me of Who I am in Him. I am nothing without Christ. But, how dare I take that for granted.

Today, two events started to rock my world a bit. . . . I bought traveler’s insurance for India. I have never bought traveler’s insurance for any mission trips, but for me, it seemed to be something I needed to do. I am not sure why and I will trust God for His leading on that. The part that sort of hit me hard was, when it said it offered a lump sum if I died. I am not afraid of death, but honesty, I have a few things on this earth I would like to do. Yet, we are reminded that every moment we are here is God’s choosing. His plans are not mine.

Then, someone told me that I was “pushy.” GULP, SWALLOW, BREATH. I will admit it, I like to fix things and sometimes my ultimate good intentions of trying to get someone to do something may come across as pushy. That is far from my intention. It is, instead, my desire to help people feel better, provide them with some relief, and pray for people. Guys, I believe in the power of prayer. Perhaps that is a blog for another night. . .

Yet, all of this started me thinking while I was waiting about 45 minutes for a patient today. WHO is Ivy IN Christ and WHO is Ivy TO Christ? What do I mean to Him? What do you mean to Him?

Some scriptures came to mind and I wanted to share that in my first new blog post! 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.
Isaiah 49:16

You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.
1 Corinthians 7:22-24

After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. ” Genesis 15:1

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14b

I love when God is speaking to me through people. . . Maybe being called pushy was the final straw to make me think more on who I am, maybe I come across that way and need to change my approach to people. Maybe this relationship can not be healed, but it goes to show that how one person interprets something may be totally different than how it was meant to be. I don’t know, but through this week, I relearned one thing: I am an amazing daughter of Christ, bought and paid for at the highest price! 

So Long Insecurity, Weeks 8 and 9: Conclusion and a Mouse

I failed to post the response to these questions. It seems the month of April got to be really, really busy! :) God continues to be faithful! I wanted to post the answers. This book really opened my eyes to my own insecurities. . .BTW: Tonight, I solved one of them. I HATE MICE!! I HATE MICE!!! And, today, for the first time I can ever recall, I took care of a dead one. :) HA GO ME! Believe me, there was a lot of praying going over that dead mouse. . Not that he would come back to life, but that I would remain calm and deal with him. . . (Ok, for the record, it was handled with double gloves, and trash taken out immediately. . . but, it was cleaned up. :)


1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us. Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.

For my patients, I need to teach little girls that they are able to jump up and do things on their own. They can be secure in who they are through Christ. We are loosing a generation of gals (and guys) to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography. . .because they are looking for security in something or because they are so insecure in themselves they figure why should anybody care about them?




2) I wish we could discuss all of Chapter 15 in person but this is the next best thing. Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. In other words, how can you (not others but you in particular) start becoming part of the solution in your female relationships rather than default into part of the problem. No condemnation here. Goodness knows, we’ve all been both. Our challenge is to learn to be deliberate. How are you prepared to do that?

Change begins with me. My attitude towards being secure vs. insecure. My attitude to show people I care, to show people my God is able to take all our weaknesses and make his followers strong. If I am secure, God shows through me. Others are able to see that same security and know that it is not from anything I do, but all from Christ.

3) I can’t wait to see your answers to this one. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? If you don’t have one presently, don’t feel pressured or unnerved. You might be too deep in toddlers or school work to think past the urgent. Those things are priority and need to be your passion right now. If, however, you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you. It will be ultimately be the key to life on the outskirts of self-absorption. Keep in mind, your passion may not be anything you’re currently engaged in. Maybe you don’t have the opportunity to participate right now. Maybe it’s just in dream-form. Or maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart. Try to give it a name. What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?

I have a passion for teenage girls. I have a passion for women's bible study- to dig deep into the world. . .not to touch the surface.



Conclusion/Week 9

1. Based on Chapter 17, on a scale of 1 to 10 (one-almost none, ten-over the top), how big a part has fear played in your life? After responding with your approximation, please share what, if anything, in the chapter resonated with you.

I would say a 9 out of 10. . . but, I am gradually seeing the scale tip in the opposite direction.

2. Reflect over the journey as a whole. What (again, if anything) lasting and of God will you take away from it?

I am a royal princess. I am good enough. Period.

So Long Insecurity, Week 7

1. Based on Chapter 12, name one "I already knew that" moment and one "that's new to me" moment, if either applies. I think that the quote on page 230, "We as men (me included) have failed to assure women they are God's most beautiful creation. A woman's insecurities could be drastically reduced if men would love like Jesus did," offered me a refreshing approach that some men really do realize their impact on how we feel towards our body image.

2. Based on Chapter 13, how does a weak will play into our insecurity?
We are quick to give in to our will. We fail to let God's power and glory show up. For example, when I give in to the temptations of life, I may fail to use the Holy Spirit as my guidance. Or, perhaps it is more of a situation of failing to know who I am in Christ. I know that I am a daughter of a mighty king! :) A royal princess. But, there are plenty of days when I fail to see myself covered with God's glory.

So Long Insecurity, Week 6

1. Based on Chapter 10, in all truthfulness, has your historical tendency been to view men (generally speaking) as gods? Or devils?

This was easy and the truth does make me feel ashamed. I often view them as devils. Then, once I am in a relationship I tend to give them god-like status. That is a standard they can't live up.

2. Based on Chapter 10 and your own day-to-day observances, what differences do you see between men’s insecurities and women’s?

Men desire to be the providers. Often, when they fail at this (maybe it is an actual "failure" or perhaps it is only in their head), they retreat, they become afraid and withdrawn. They fail to see all they truly have to offer, and instead, only see the perceived failure. For example, a man who looses his job may be the most amazing dad, yet, if he is jobless, he tends to only see himself as unemployed. Yet, the job does not make the man. Women are more focused on their looks, and their ability to turn heads. Come on girls, let's face it, we like it when a man notices us. We may have an amazing job, be the best wife/mom, best daughter, but if we do not consider ourselves attractive, we will only see our outer beauty as being less than desirable.


3. On p.208 in Chapter 11, I suggest that women who struggle with insecurity tend to be particularly taken with 2 divine attributes: omnipotence and omniscience. Did either of these resonate with you? If so, how?

Omniscience. I think for me, I struggle with the desire to "fix things!" Boy, do I wish I could play God on many occasions. . .Yet, deep down I do realize that my God's plans are far better than anything I could come up with. His plans are always perfect.

So Long Insecurity, Week 5: Chapter 9

Here are your very simple assignments this week:

1. Do (don't just read but actually do) Chapter Nine. In your comment to this post, simply reflect back on your time with God and share anything specific that you received from it. Thank you, Lord, for this time of reflection. . .Thank you for opening my heart and letting me be filled with your blessings. I will give up my insecurity. For, in you, I am totally 100% secure. . .So long. . . you've been a bad friend to us!


2. Go to last Saturday's post (3/6/10) and look at all the verses in the comment section. You will find a wellspring! Pick five Scriptures that speak most powerfully to you right now - five that you feel like you need the most - and write them on the inside of the back cover of the book. (This should be a lot less intimidating than what I asked you to write inside the front cover at the beginning of our journey!)

Here are a few of the scriptures. . .

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."Ephesians 6:10-11

So Long Insecurity, Week 4

1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
Insecurity can make us give an entirely wrong impression. . . I see that often in how I choose to react- when I react to how I am treated by others.


2. (If you're choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity. (We're not looking for right answers. We're looking for YOUR answers. Don't copy off your fellow sojourners' papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don't get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.

A. I'm tired of it.
B. I'm tired of Satan having the control
C. I'm ready for a new me that relies on Christ! :)

3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you. The tone and language at a recent provider meeting. I went to my office and cried. . . so, again, Satan won.

4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?

My dignity comes from Christ alone. . .and Satan is always on the prowl to steal it. . .Satan needs to take step back from this gal! :)

So Long Insecurity, Week 3

1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.

PRIDE. I say this because of the quote on page 101. . .We don't feel special, and that hurts our pride. Beth states, "sometimes people and situations make us feel insecure because they nick our pride, plain and simple." WOW! I am a very sensitive person, and can see how this is really true- my pride is hurt, I feel undervalued. . . Yet, we all need to know that our value is in Christ alone. Our value is in him. His willingness to die for us on a cross, a death that we should have been sentenced to. . .There is no greater sacrifice someone can make for you. . .or will ever make for you. Aren't we really valuable- more special than any silver or gold. .. more special than the praise on the back we feel we miss out on, or the reward we "should have" won.


OUR CULTURE. Let's face it girls, it is tough to live up to the edited images we have constantly thrown in our face of what we "need to look like."


2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)

I think that I need to refocus on my true identity- some how in the midst of all this, I like to lose it at times. I think that the primary root of this insecurity comes from two broken relationships- one of which I was physical injured (with two broken feet at the same time) and the guy just walked out. . . the worst part I've had to grow from would be his broken promise of several months later to come and meet with me about this issue. . . he promised this standing in church one Sunday almost a year ago, and failed to keep his word. Lies are a hard thing for any of us. . . lies to our face, well, that is even more dramatic. . . I can't help but think about Peter here. How hurt he must have been after he denied his father.

So Long Insecurity, Week 2

1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
". . . you're married to the most fabulous man in the world." Prominent False Positive: A great man would make me secure.


2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)

"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us!"

3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?

Paul. Paul struggles with many of my own person insecurities. . .and through this teaches us how to strive to be more Christ's Like.

Good Bye. . . to Insecurity!! Week One.

I am participating in the So Long, Insecurity Blog Roll call over at Living Proof Live's Blog. . . Let me start my post by saying, Beth Moore has done it again!! Every time she writes a book, I am moved to examine myself a little further. I don't typically consider myself insecure. . . but, Beth points out that we are going to find out some ways we are insecure. . . and, also realize that some of this insecurity comes from our doubts of God's ability to use us. . . WOW!

Ok, quote of the week for me is: ". . . We are attempting to get our security from a gender that doesn't really have much to spare." Ok, so needed that Beth. I know it was said with great respect, but it is true! This world is tough. . . for boys and gals.

Chapter One: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.

A past relationship. . . long story there and I won't share too many details. He continues to struggle with insecurity. But, that is not my issue.

Chapter Two: what part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?

"The insecure person also harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. These expectations, for themselves and for others, are often unconscious."

Ok, God is totally speaking to me with this quote. . . It is so me. . . I have my list of expectations in the opposite sex and sometimes I think no guy can live up to that list. . . maybe no woman either if the list was written by a guy.